I Still.

Chapter 3 -


"Ugh," she groaned, her eyes opening, her body wakening at some unholy hour. She turned her head only to be blinded by the lights from the alarm clock. Once her eyes had adjusted to being awake she looked at the clock one more and groaned as she saw it was only three in the morning, and she wasn't alone.

"Simon," she whispered as she manoeuvred her body without waking the person which the arm wrapped round her middle belonged to. She turned to see Simon's sleeping face on the same pillow as her; sleeping. She took a moment to watch as his beautiful, handsome face as he slept. She watched as every breath he took, how every third breath was met with a soft snore and a flare of his nostrils as he slept softly when suddenly it all came rushing back to her; what they'd done last night, where they were, who they were with, Terri, everything. He couldn't be here!

"Get up!" she shouted, loudly as she moved off of the bed only to stop short when she noticed she was naked and so was Simon. She let out a low moan when she became aware of the soreness between her legs as well as the sticky feeling on her thighs as she moved off of the bed and onto her feet.

He never stirred from his sleep as she moved off the bed, he moved slightly in his sleep the sheet moving slightly providing her with a delicious view of his cock. She gasped when she saw that his body and his cock was covered in scratches and several love bites, she looked down at her own and saw the same. "We really did a number on one another," she mused silently.

A gentle snore emanated from his lips brought her back to the present. The here and now with a bang. She quickly wrapped a robe around her naked body as she grabbed a pillow from the floor and threw it at his face as forcefully as possible and it worked. Her second attempt at waking him was successful; she heard a few groans come from him as he moved the pillow away from his face, his eyes struggling in the light as he tried to focus his gaze on the clock.

"What the fuck?" he asked, his voice gravely. "It's 3 in the fucking morning!"

"Get out of my room! Now!" she seethed angrily as he continued to lay there whilst she rushed around the room looking for his clothes. What they had done was so, so wrong and he needed to leave right now. "Now!" she hollered as she thrust his clothes at him. He sat up and simply stared at her in amusement as she screamed at him.

"No!" he replied defiantly as he got up off of the bed and placed his jeans back on. He smiled as he noticed her gaze watching as he jeans slowly covered the lower half of his body back up. Her eyes looked almost disappointed when he cock was hidden from view. Quickly her gaze returned to it's angry form as she scolded herself for allowing herself to get lost in the fantasy.

"Yes!" she screamed back. "Last night, this morning whatever! It shouldn't have happened and it's never going to fucking happen again! You need to leave, you need to go back to your girlfriend and fuck last night out of your head."

"You don't mean that," he whispered, referring to 'It shouldn't have happened'. "You don't mean that!" he repeated, his voice stronger and louder than before as he watched the anger flaring once again in her eyes at his words. "You don't."

"I do!" she snapped, her voice surprisingly strong and certain. It was a huge contrast to the way she was feeling inside. Inside she could feel her strength weakening as she took in the total hurt and dejectedness he was projecting. "I do," she whispered. "You're NOT single and I am not a whore. Yet last night proved that I am nothing more than a whore and you are nothing more than a man looking for a cheap shag! Look I even used a word you'll understand! Shag!" she screamed.

"You are right. You're nothing more than a whore," he snapped venomously as he picked up his shoes and walked towards the door. "I thought we meant more to one another," he whispered before he walked out the door and slammed it shut; leaving her alone with her thoughts and his words. His words shot right through her, like a knife cutting flesh. He wounded her deeply, she shook it off and stormed into the bathroom.

She turned the shower on making sure the water was hot as she threw off her robe and stepped into the shower. His words were ringing in her ears, her touch scorching her skin as she began manipulating herself, trying to give herself some kind of release. She came with a terse, pitying scream, her fingers buried deep inside of her. She stood in the shower angry and decidedly unsatisfied despite her orgasm with his final words to her standing strong in her mind.

She awoke several hours later after a somewhat restless, fitful sleep to banging on her door and Ryan's voice yelling to her. She turned her head to the clock; it was time to get up. Time to get up, get dressed, face Simon and thousands of hopefuls who thought they could sing. But very rarely could. "I'm coming!" she yelled in the hopes the incessant knocking would stop. She let out a sigh of relief as the knocking stopped and she located her robe and placed it on her tired body.

"What?" she asked, pointedly once she opened the door to find Ryan standing on the other side looking at her with a concerned look upon his face.

"Well you weren't the first one ready, so we were worried and by the look of tiredness in your eyes we were right," he replied.

"I overslept. I woke up early and couldn't fall back to sleep again. You woke me up. I'll be downstairs soon," she replied before shutting the door and headed in the direction of the shower. She stripped off her robe and entered the shower.

Twenty minutes later she stepped off the lift and headed in the direction of the limo's where she was meeting the guys and him. She was feeling psychically sick at the thought of facing him after what had happened between them. She let out a simultaneous sigh of relief and distress when she saw Randy and Ryan stood talking by the limo's but there was no sign of Simon.

"Hey guys!" she shouted as she walked over to them, stifling a laugh when she watched Ryan jump in surprise. "Aww poor Ryan," she joked as she gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek before she did the same to Randy who was still sniggering at Ryan.

"Where's Simon?" she asked, hoping they wouldn't pick up on her uneasy tone.

"He and Terri already went baby girl," Randy replied. "He was actually up and ready before the rest of us, which is probably why he was in such a mood. Today will be an interesting day."

"Is it really that bad?" she asked, knowing full well the reason behind Simon's mood. Randy merely nodded as he and Ryan moved to get into the limo. She got in first, once they were all settled they set off for the audition venue on the other side of the city. On the other side of the city which currently occupied Simon Cowell - the root of all the current sadness and heartache plaguing her.

When their limo finally pulled up outside of the venue after being stuck in traffic for an hour, they found themselves surrounded by screaming fans calling to them. With the help of several bodyguards and the arena staff they finally made their way inside with the fans outside.

Paula let out a deep breath of relief once the doors had shut behind them the only hurdle left for her to face was Simon. He was definitely going to be the hardest, most testing hurdle she'd have to face today. She felt Randy's arm around her shoulders as they made their way up the set of stairs which led them to the main hallway of the arena.

The day passed slowly and awkwardly as the tension built slowly and thickly with every second that passed. They acted normal for the cameras despite Simon's more than normal sarcastic attitude. Randy watched on in disbelief as Paula feigned it as Simon was turning away almost everyone away and those he did like Paula and Randy didn't. For every break and lunch Simon had disappeared and only reappeared when he had to. The only bright spot of the day had been Katharine McPhee. Simon had actually been his usual self with her, once she'd left his mood had switched back again until he'd snapped and stormed out in a dramatic fashion.

"Simon's having a bad day," Randy chuckled once Debra Dawn had left the room.

"Well I'm not. You can do this on your own for a while," Simon said dismissively as he stood, threw his pen on the table and walked out leaving Randy and Paula stunned as he walked away, his bodyguard following behind him.

She knew exactly why he'd left as she played up her shock at his sudden rash departure from the room. Whilst poor Randy was genuinely in shock as to why Simon had stormed out from the judging room the way he had when they only had one person left to see and then they'd be finished with the San Francisco auditions anyways. She knew Simon's strop would air and that it would be ratings gold when people caught wind of it.

Randy and Ryan conversed madly about Simon's sudden departure from the auditions during their ride back to the hotel whilst Paula remained totally silent. They would arrive at the hotel, collect their things and head to the airport where they would catch the red-eye back to Los Angeles. Simon was going straight from the auditions to the airport where he and Terri would fly back to London, so she knew she wouldn't see him again until they met up again in Las Vegas.

"We'll meet back down at the sofas in half an hour for check out. Okay?" Ryan said as the three of them stepped into the lift. Randy and Paula merely nodded before Ryan and Randy resumed their previous conversation about Simon and his sudden departure - she just wanted to scream at them, scream for them to shut-up but she didn't she remained silent as the lift continued to climb.

"See you guys soon," she said as the lift arrived on her floor. They all mumbled a quick goodbye before Paula stepped off the lift onto her floor and it continued it's ascent as It delivered Randy and Ryan to their rooms.

She could feel her façade slipping as she walked the short distance from the lift to her room, she could feel her strength weakening as it was slowly overwhelmed by the distress and pain filling her heart and soul. The façade began slipping quicker and quicker as she increased the speed in her step to reach her and room. The second her door clicked shut the damn broke.

She fell to the made bed as her tears overwhelmed her and her mind was filled with memories of the night before.

"I love… Fuck me harder!" she cried through her passionate haze, his hands on her hips as he began to plunge into her harder and harder with each thrust and twist of his skilled hips, her loud moans urging him on, urging to move faster and harder for the pleasure and ecstasy they both craved. She nearly said 'I love you.' through her misty haze of passion as he plunged into her.

Her legs high above his shoulders, the angle of his penetration sending them both spiralling into ecstasy. Her muscles clenched tight around his cock forcing him to thrust even harder against her, forcing him deeper inside of her.

Their minds were completely blank, completely empty only filled with thoughts of one another as they moved fluently against one another. Their loud cries filling the room as they brought themselves closer and closer to the ecstasy that they craved.

His words were unintelligible, loud and jumbled as he tried to speak, tried to convey what he was feeling with words as well as groans, his climax was close. He was close. His thrusts were getting sloppy and out of rhythm as he thrust into her over and over again, her walls stretching and contracting around him. The feel of her nails starching down his skin was too much. He came into her screaming and groaning loudly as he exploded inside of her, his hot, scalding seed bathing her inner womanhood in a warm blanket.

She screamed. His climax triggering hers. She screamed loudly, his name leaving her lips in a terse scream as she convulsed underneath him as he continued to convulse around her. She felt him exploding inside of her for a second time as her muscles exploded around him, her orgasm shattering the world around her in an ecstasy-filled nirvana.

Her legs fell from his shoulders as he fell forwards onto her heaving, sweat soaked body. They were sandwiched together as they struggled for air. Their panting bodies gasping for air as they breathed in and out in sync.

She placed tender kisses along his face as he lay with his cheek resting against hers. They lay there in total silence as they slowly came down from their high. "Wow," she whispered, her voice so soft, so silent she barley heard it herself as the words had left her lips. "Round two?" she asked, her voice sultry and dark as she hooked her legs around his back, using all her strength she flipped them so that he was laying on the bed staring up at her his face totally bewildered and shocked, as she straddled him.

She wiggled her hips wickedly as she felt his cock strain against her thigh. She leaned down, swallowing a moan as he grabbed her neck with his hand and forced their lips together in a rough kiss. His tongue forced its way through her shocked lips which offered little resistance as his hands snaked their way down her body.

Her breath hitched painfully in her throat when she felt his hand was once again dangerously close to her throbbing, wet centre. Her back arched, she cried out loudly as he thrust a finger inside of her. He curled his finger as he began to thrust it inside of her knowing she wouldn't take this long and he was right.

Mere moments later he groaned loudly - a sound which moved right through her, sending pleasure coursing through her - as he felt her forcefully lowering herself onto him as she pushed his hand away from her. The staggering loss she felt as the loss of his fingers was quickly forgotten and replaced by an even greater feeling of him inside of her, stretching her already stretched walls.

She didn't last long. She screamed silently, her nails embedded in his arms the pain heightening his pleasure as she convulsed above him. Her silent screams sent him over the edge for a second time.

She fell down onto him, and lay there for several moments before she moved off of him and turned onto her side. He placed a kiss on her shoulder as he moved to spoon her naked body.

Unconsciousness was soon reached.